I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. (John 11:25-26)
His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' (Matthew 25:21 - NIV)
"Do not be saddened this day, for rejoicing in the Lord must be your strength!" (Nehemiah 8:10)

Prayer After Death of Loved One

Saints of God, come to his/her aid!
Come to meet him/her, angels of the Lord!
R. Receive his/her soul and present him/her to God the Most High.

May Christ, Who called you, take you to Himself;
may angels lead you to Abraham's side.
R. Receive his/her soul and present him/her to God the Most High.

Give him/her eternal rest, O Lord,
and may Your light shine upon him/her forever.
R. Receive his/her soul and present him/her to God the Most High.

Let us pray: We commend our brother (sister) N. to you, Lord.
Now that he/she has passed from this life,
may he/she live on in Your presence.
In Your mercy and love, forgive whatever sins he/she may have committed through human weakness.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
R. Amen.

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Prayer for the Deceased Person and for Mourners

Lord Jesus, our Redeemer, You willingly gave Yourself up to death so that all people might be saved and pass from death into a new life. Listen to our prayers; look with love on Your people who mourn and pray for their dead brother/sister. Lord Jesus, You alone are holy and compassionate; forgive our brother/sister his/her sins.

By dying You opened the gates of life for those who believe in You; do not let Your brother/sister be parted from You, but by Your glorious power give him/her light, joy, and peace in heaven where You live for ever and ever. Amen.

Prayer for Forgiveness and Peace

My brother (sister) in faith, I entrust you to God Who created you. May you return to the One Who formed you from the dust of this earth. May Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life. May Christ Who was crucified for you bring you freedom and peace. May Christ, the Son of God, Who died for you take you into His kingdom. May Christ, the Good Shepherd, give you a place within His flock. May He forgive your sins and keep you among His people. May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the sight of God forever. Amen.

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1. Death is nothing at all.

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. 

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
[There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident?]
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. 

All is well. 
Canon Henry Scott Holland of St. Paul's Cathedral | info 

2. What is dying?
Often attributed to, although more correctly "used" by, Bishop Brent and actually written by Victor Hugo, from, "Toilers of the Sea". The full version is below and also two often used variations.

[full version]

I am standing upon that foreshore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white clouds just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!"
"Gone where?"
"Gone from my sight, that's all". She is just as large in mast and spar and hull as ever she was when she left my side; just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at that moment when someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" And that is dying.

[Variation #1]
A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon, and someone says, "she is gone".
Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all; she is just as large as when I saw her...
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her, and just at the moment when someone says "she is gone", there are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout, "there she comes!"...

and that is dying.

[Variation #2]
I am standing on the sea shore. 
A ship sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. 
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her till at last she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "she is gone."
Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all: she is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her, and just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination. 
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not her: and just at the moment when someone at my side says, "she is gone," there are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout, "there she comes" - and that is dying.

Related link: "She is gone" ~ a poem by David Harkins | alternate link (external links)

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3. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you waken in the morning's hush;
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight;
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Often apparently erroneously referred to as "An Indian Prayer" and  attributed to several authors especially 
Mary Frye (1932) + Wilbur Skeels -(lyrics ©1996) ~ also  Gwydion Penderwen ~ Joyce Fossen ~ Albert Spengler
External info link | more - get Acrobat pdf reader free | music | alternative version | Native wisdom |

[VARIATION]
In those quiet moments in the still of the night
Remember to rejoice and celebrate life
Do not think of me gone and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on the grain
I am the gentle autumn's rain
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in flight
I am the soft stars that shine
You will hear my gentle voice
and remember to rejoice
Never give up your fight
and remember always
to Celebrate Life.... ---- Author Unknown

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4. DE PROFUNDIS Psalm 129 (130) Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.

Lord, hear my voice! O let your ears be attentive To the voice of my pleading. If you, O Lord, should mark our guilt, Lord, who would survive? But with you is found forgiveness: For this we revere you. My soul is waiting for the Lord, I count on his word. My soul is longing for the Lord More than watchman for daybreak. Let the watchman count on daybreak And Israel on the Lord. Because with the Lord there is mercy And fullness of redemption. Israel indeed he will redeem From all its iniquity.

Commentary: The psalmist was praying at a time of great sadness and despair for himself and the Hebrew people. He could see no way in which the sadness would end. That is why he calls to God 'out of the depths'. He was also deeply conscious of his own sins and the people's sins, but knew he could rely on God's promise of loving forgiveness. He hoped in God with the confidence of someone who at the darkest hour of the night looks forward to the light of dawn. This psalm has been one the Church's favourite prayers for the dead. It applies to the whole Church. It applies to the dead person, who returns to God as a sinner, trusting in God's love and compassion, looking beyond dying to the morning light of eternal life with God. It applies also to us who are left in the depths of sorrow, repenting of our own sins too and confidently looking forward to sharing the same everlasting light of heaven. I hope this will be of some help to you. God bless! (contributed by Canon Richard Rutt)

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5. A reading from the book of Wisdom. Ch. 4: 4-15 (Jerusalem Bible translation)

The virtuous man, though he die before his time, will find rest.
Length of days is not what makes age honourable,
nor number of years the true measure of life;
understanding, this is man’s grey hairs,
untarnished life, this is ripe old age.
He has sought to please God, so God has loved him;
as he lived among sinners, he has been taken up.

He has been carried off
so that evil may not warp his understanding
or treachery seduce his soul;
for the fascination of evil throws the good into the shade,
and the whirlwind of desire corrupts a simple heart.

Coming to perfection in so short a while,
he achieved long life;
his soul being pleasing to the Lord,
who has taken him quickly
from the wickedness around him.

Yet people look on, uncomprehending;
it does not enter their heads
that grace and mercy await the chosen of the Lord,
and protection, God’s holy ones.
This is the Word of the Lord.

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'Death is not extinguishing the light. It is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.'
~ Rabindranath Tagore ~ Nobel Prize winner 1913 ~ more below More link links updated 08.2008 

'In one of the stars, I shall be living. In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.'
~ The Little Prince ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

'He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man.' ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

'Life is eternal and love is immortal; And death is only a horizon, And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.' ~ Rossiter W. Raymond

"Death is God's last and greatest gift to the living"  ~ Margaret Eadie

'Be of good cheer about death and know this as a truth - that no evil can happen to a good man,
either in life or after death.' ~ Socrates

'The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.' ~ Seneca

'I have died many a death in love, and yet, had I not loved I would never have lived at all.' ~ David Lasater

'Is death the last sleep? No - it is the last and final awakening.' ~ Sir Walter Scott 

'While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.' 
~ John Taylor

'For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind? And when the Earth has claimed our limbs, Then we shall truly dance.' ~ Kahlil Gibran

'I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived.' ~ Willa Cather

'They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies.'
~ William Penn | more

'Remember the man who served his almighty Creator, his country, his community, and most of all, his family. He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.'
~ Bessie Anderson Stanley ??

'Let us all understand that death is not an eraser. It does not remove the deeds or the meanings that existed in anyone's life. It does not make poor men rich or great men fallible. And when death comes, let us not romanticize its presence nor the person it takes from us. Let us see death for what it really is: a border that we all must cross; a border that, more than any other, defines the lives we are able to lead. Do not mourn for those who cross over. Rather, reflect on the definition they've left behind. It is the only truth we are able to know here on earth. When the definition is great, then celebrate it. When it is lacking, then learn from it and improve on it. And use it to make your own definition more truthful and loving and miraculous.' ~ from 'Gideon' by Russell Andrews

'Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared, beneath the stars above, for a moment all the world was right. How was I to know that you'd ever say goodbye?
And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.' ~ Garth Brooks, The Dance 

Other websites offering similar pages including material already on this page and variations: 1 | 2 | 3 |

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Farewell My Friend

It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die. ~ Rabindranath Tagore ~ more quotations further above

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Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set on me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.
Miss me a little--but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me--but let me go.
(Unknown)

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Remember me when I am gone away.

Remember me when I am gone away.
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand.
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me:  you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had.
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than you should remember and be sad. ~ Christina Rossetti

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A Child of Mine (often cited as 'God's Lent Child')

I’ll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said
For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief
You’ll always have his memories as a solace in your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked this whole world over in my search for teachers true
And from the folk that crowd Life’s lane I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love and not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again?
I fancy that I heard them say “Dear God, thy will be done.
For all the joys this child will bring the risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may
And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever grateful stay.
But should the angels call him much sooner than we’d planned
We will brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.”

~ Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959) written in 1930? published in 1949 in 'Living The Years', publisher: Chicago, Reilly & Lee Co. [often mistated as 'author unknown' - This citation updated 08.2008 with thanks to t s for correction] | more (external links)

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To Those I Love And Those Who Love Me

When I am gone, release me let me go
I have so many things to see and do
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that we had so many years
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness

I thank you for the love you have shown
But now it’s time I travelled alone
So grieve a while for me if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It’s only for a while that we must part
So bless the memories within your heart
I won’t be far away.  For life goes on

So if you need me call and I will come
Though you can’t see or touch me I’ll be there
And if you listen with your heart you’ll hear
All of my love around you soft and clear
And then when you must come this way alone
I’ll greet you with a smile and welcome you home

Unknown

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"Crossing The Bar" by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Sunset and evening star,
     And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
     When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
     Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
     Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
     And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
     When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
     The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
     When I have crossed the bar.

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"She is gone" a poem by David Harkins (external link) alternate link

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GRIEVING:

The Hill

A travelling man sat down to rest from his journey by the side of the road. As he rested, another man passed by. This other man, the traveller observed, walked very slow and was bent forward, his expression was troubled and pain reflected in his eyes.

"What ails you fellow?" called up the wise, but simple man. "Come and join me and take a rest, for your form is such that I see a need in you to share the burden that you carry."

The other man sat down, stared far into the distance for a while and then began.
"I have lost the very dearest person known to me." Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke, he then fell silent for a short time before continuing. "I feel that I am constantly walking up a hill and that the wind is always against me, my feet are as heavy as clay and in my stomach I carry hot coals. I say to myself now that I must turn back to ease this pain. If I walk back down the hill then maybe I will find that all of this is not true and that my loved one will be waiting to greet me."

The traveller sat listening to the other man's story, and replied. "You must not go back down the hill. You need to reach the top, for thereafter you will find the path will level, the wind will soften, your feet grow lighter and the hot coals will cool. To go back down the hill will prolong your pain, for the path to your healing is forward and up the hill."

As the traveller got up to continue his journey, he said to the other man, "The one you have lost is not at the bottom of the hill but with you all the time, for you carry their spirit in your heart." Anonymous [contributed by CS march '05 - thank you]

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• If Tomorrow starts without me ~ More support links off this site > http://angel-on-my-shoulder.com

• Inspirational Quotations |more |memoriam verses |more |

• "She is gone" ~ a poem by David Harkins | alternate link

• CRUSE bereavement care Offers free information and advice to anyone who has been affected by a death - Provides support and counselling one to one and in groups - Offers education, support, information and publications to anyone supporting bereaved people - Increases public awareness of the needs of bereaved people through campaigning and information services

• Widowhood ~ a young woman's survival guide ~ an excellent  practical guide for women needing clear, simple advice.

• The Compassionate Friends (UK)  - (TCF) is an organisation of bereaved parents and their families offering understanding, support and encouragement to others after the death of a child or children. They also offer support, advice and information to other relatives, friends and professionals who are helping the family.

• Child Death Helpline  ~ for all those affected by the death of a child. also telephone (UK) 0800 282986. Volunteers are needed to work in this service. - http://www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk/ 

• Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society - www.uk-sands.org

• ISANDS - the Irish Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Society

• The Child Bereavement Trust - www.childbereavement.org.uk

• Winston's Wish - www.winstonswish.org.uk  is a charity which supports bereaved children and young people.

• Age Concern England - www.ageconcern.org.uk 

• London Bereavement Network - www.bereavement.org.uk 

• Manchester Area Bereavement Forum - www.mabf.org.uk 

• Samaritans - www.samaritans.org.uk 

• St Paul's Miscarriage & Infant Loss Support Group - Miscarriage & Infant Loss Memorial Book - For all who have lost a baby from conception to 1 year old. (See also blessing link above) - The Miscarriage & Infant Loss Memorial Book is kept at Tintagel Catholic Church. The annual Mass in remembrance of all babies who have died from conception to 1 year old and their famlies will be celebrated ?? (2008 date not known - please contact them direct) at the Catholic Church of St Paul the Apostle, Tintagel, Cornwall, UK. Those who cannot attend the Mass are invited to join them in prayer on that day remembering the intentions they are praying for. (we've left this link for future reference / update)

• Babies with God - Loss Support Group

• Babies with God 2 - TTC & Pregnancy Support Group - (TTC = trying to conceive again)

• MASS FOR THE UNBORN - Plymouth RC Cathedral, Wyndham Street, Plymouth Celebrated by Christopher Budd, RC Bishop of Plymouth. UK (10 July, '03 - (we've left this link for future reference / update)

• The following links are from the "Bereavement Information Pack" of The Royal College of Psychiatrists:-

• Early Grief and Mourning

• Emotions during Bereavement

• Bereavement through Suicide

• Support during bereavement

• The Future

• Useful Contacts

• Further Reading ~ all links updated 08.2008

• Journey of Hearts - an online healing place for anyone grieving

•   Endings and Beginnings - A collection of poetry and quotes for everyone who has had to say goodbye too soon ~ "And Should The Angels Call" ~ A poem, especially for those mourning the loss of a child. 

• Living With Suicide for survivors - an MSN support group 

• Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - SOBS  is a self-help, voluntary organisation. Many of those helping have, themselves, been bereaved by suicide. It exists to meet the needs and break the isolation of those bereaved by the suicide of a close relative or friend.

• Gates of Remembrance is the global website where you can write a permanent tribute to a relative, friend, colleague, hero or pet, in fact, anyone who has touched your life. It is an everlasting memorial.

• Create a Memorial website | 'Much Loved' memorial websites | 'Vacant Chair' memorial websites

• Prayers for the dead - The Grief Page  +  Prayers for the Dying  +  Prayers at the Graveside + All Souls Regulations  +  Blessing of Parents after a Miscarriage + Scripture Readings for Catholic Funerals

• Holy Souls Crusade ~ " It is a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead that they may be loosed from their sins" (2 Mac 12:46)